Final Resting Places: - Ronald Herbert English

Sitting high above the township on Crawford Road, just outside of the small Southland town of Mataura, sits the Mataura Cemetery. It is a very quiet place, with the only noise being the occasional passing of a car or farm tractor, or the bleating of a lamb from the surrounding paddocks.

Block 5, plot 185 in this quiet, peaceful cemetery is the final resting place for a person who long ago meant the absolute world to me. My eyes would light up when he walked into the room ….. I wanted to go everywhere with him ….. and I often waited along at the corner of our street for him to finish work so I could walk home with him. 

But all too soon this childhood love was over. I had only just turned seven when my dad, Ronald Herbert ENGLISH, died unexpectedly. My dad is now resting peacefully in block 5, plot 185 in the Mataura Cemetery, a place where I still frequently go to visit him, just to talk to him and feel close to him once again. 

My dad with his older brother Evan
(please click on image to enlarge)

Dad was born in Mataura in December 1941 and spent his whole life in the town. He was the second son of Bob and Lizzie (nee RENSHAW) ENGLISH and he had one older sibling, my uncle Evan. Dad was educated at the local primary school and then continued on to Gore High School, where upon leaving school he ventured to the local freezing works, one of the main employers in the town, to seek employment. The boss at the freezing works was a friend of my grandparents and he told my dad that he would not employ him in the freezing works as he had too good a brain for that, but instead offered him a job in the company office, which my dad accepted.

In March 1968 my dad married my mother, Maureen EGAN, the eldest daughter of Doris and Jack EGAN. My mother was a primary school teacher and her father Jack was the principal of the local primary school. In the years that followed my parents were blessed with three children; firstly Stephen, then myself, and later on Julie arrived on the scene too. And my parents were happy. 

As was the norm in the 1960’s and 70’s, Mum stayed home to look after the children while Dad continued to work at the freezing works. In his spare time Dad loved to go duck-shooting or fishing, he loved to play rugby, tennis or golf, he loved gardening and harness racing, and he particularly enjoyed spending time out on the farm of his good friend Barrie Cullen who lived just outside of Mataura on Terrace Road.

My dad with my older brother Stephen
(please click on image to enlarge)

After many years in the freezing works office Dad did finally venture into the actual processing part of the freezing works to work, and at the time of my birth his occupation is listed on my birth certificate as wool-pullers assistant. But he wasn’t content with just “working on the chain”, a term used locally to refer to those working along the production line at the freezing works. He had aspirations of going higher so went away to Lincoln College and re-trained, this time as a meat inspector. When he came back he was employed by M.A.F. (the Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries) to work at the Mataura freezing works as one of their meat inspectors.

Life was once again back to normal for our family and as much as I can remember from back then, we were a normal, very happy family. But all too soon life was to change and our quiet happy life would be shattered.

My dad, Ronald Herbert ENGLISH
(please click on image to enlarge)

Dad began to experience frequent severe headaches and upon seeking medical treatment was sent for a brain scan. And when the results of the scans and the tests came back our world was turned upside down. Dad had a brain tumour !!! 

But it was soon discovered that the brain tumour was a secondary cancer and the source of the cancer was actually his kidneys. A double blow !!!  Because I was so young at the time I am a bit unsure about the exact time-frame of what happened next. All I can really remember is that Dad immediately went into Wakari Hospital in Dunedin where treatment was to happen. However, within a very short time of him being in hospital he suffered a traumatic brain haemorrhage and passed away. 

My dad was only 36 years old and within the space of a few short weeks we had gone from a normal, happy and loving family to one that was completely devastated. My mother was only 31 years old and was left to raise three young children, aged 9, 7 and 3, all on her own. And that she did, and made a wonderful job of it. My brother, sister and myself are now all grown up and if our dad had still been alive today he would find himself the proud grandfather of five beautiful grandchildren.

I missed having my dad in my life when I was a child growing up. And I miss him still, and will until the day comes that I pass from this world and get to join him in Heaven. I am especially sad that he never got to live long enough to give me away at my wedding, that he never got the chance to meet my wonderful husband, that he never got to be a part of my children’s lives and that my children never got to know him and love him too.

Block 5, plot 185, Mataura Cemetery
Ronald Herbert ENGLISH  (26 Dec 1941  -  9 July 1978)

Thirty six was too young to die. And the seven years that I got to spend with him was not enough time for me. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair. Dad has now been gone for more years than he actually lived, and his three children are now older than he ever got to be. 

My dad is never very far from my thoughts. I will continue to visit his grave in the Mataura Cemetery for the rest of my life. I will continue to remember him and miss him, and I will continue to love him .....…… forever.

What's in a name (and how I got it so, so wrong) !!!

Way back twenty or more years ago my family history research project was only just beginning to take shape. Most of my research was limited to what I could find at the local museum and research centre, or else what I could write away for. Online records as such were non-existent and my family tree was a bit small and spindly to look at with many branches either missing completely or with very little information on them.

When I got married and then came to be expecting my first child I put a lot of thought into the name I would give my child. I did not want to give them a name that was modern and trendy at the time and that every second kid in their class at school would end up with. And I did not want to give them a name that sounded like it belonged to a wee kid. I can remember my late grandmother always telling me that you name your baby son with a man’s name, not a little boy’s name. 

I wanted to give my child a name that held real meaning to me and was possibly reflective on my background and the lives of my ancestors. But twenty years ago the “old” names that are quite trendy now days such as Archie, Charlotte, Oliver, Lily, George, Isabella, Freddie, Scarlett, Charlie, Ruby, Oscar or Harriet were almost unheard of amongst anyone younger than 70 years old. I didn’t want to give my child a name that would be considered odd or unusual for the era so these old names from back in the last century weren’t even considered. Who was to know that they would ever become so popular again !!!

So when it became known that my husband and I were expecting a daughter I browsed back across my then somewhat-smaller family tree to see what names could be suitable. There was Elizabeth, Beverley, Mary, Maureen, Hanorah, Kathleen, Margaret, Helen, Mary-Jane and Janet, but none of those names appealed to me one little bit. They sounded so old-fashioned and the thought of giving one of them to my baby daughter didn’t sit well with me.

Bridget WALLIS (nee BROSNAN)

Then I came across a name on my tree that I instantly thought 'I could live with that'. And the more I thought about the name Bridget the more it appealed to me. My husband had no issues with it either and it got me out of the possibility of having to use the name that he had picked out for our precious daughter, ….. Heidi !!!   As a child I had a cat with that very name, and believe it or not it was a male cat but that’s another story for another day !!!. I’m afraid the name Heidi was a very long, long, LONG way down my list of suitable names for our daughter.

'Bridget, Bridget, Bridget', the more I said it the more I liked it. At that time I knew not very much about the Bridget on my family tree, but what I did know back then was that she was Bridget BROSNAN, born in the late 1860’s in Kerry, Ireland. I knew that as a teenager she had somehow travelled all the way across the world to New Zealand all by herself when the rest of her family went to the USA. She ended up in the small sea-side village of Riverton on the southern coast of New Zealand and there in late 1884 (approximately 18 months after she arrived in NZ) she gave birth to an illegitimate son who she named William. 

I knew little else about Bridget’s early days in New Zealand until she turned up in the small settlement of Waikaia in the late 1880’s and it was there that she eventually married and raised a family. Her daughter Mary Elizabeth WALLIS was my maternal great grandmother and I was always brought up to believe that William was Mary’s full brother. Right throughout my childhood, and even after I had started on my family history journey, despite there being older family members still alive, no one had ever told me any different about William. One day however it finally dawned on me that William was so much older than the rest of his siblings so I searched for and found his birth record in 1884 and there he was registered as William Stewart BROSNAN, illegitimate, no father listed.

'Bridget, you had a little secret' I thought to myself at the time, but then thought no more of it until many years later when I came across her name again on my family tree when I was looking to name my daughter. I guess I had less of an understanding back then as to what I do now as to how prevalent illegitimacy actually was way back in the 1800’s. At the time of finding William’s birth registration it surprised me that Bridget had actually kept him. Though looking back now at my thoughts back then I guess I’m not entirely sure what else I thought she would have done with him !!! 

Anyway, twenty years ago my main thoughts about Bridget were that she must have been an amazingly strong woman. It was the 1880’s and she was very young and all alone in New Zealand. And for six years she raised her son William all on her own before she found someone to marry. The strength that she displayed caught my attention and I immediately felt that perhaps this was an example of family strength, courage and devotion that I could look up to.

So when our beautiful little daughter arrived in late 1996, with much happiness and without any hesitation we named her Bridget. I knew of no other Bridget’s that were babies or children at that time, only a few that were adults my age or older. So I felt quite confident that my beautiful wee Bridget with her own unique name would most likely go through her school life as perhaps the only Bridget in her class. And I felt very comfortable with that and also for the fact that I had named her after her amazingly strong ancestor. Everything was perfect. Or so we thought !!!

Bridget WALLIS, date unknown

Roll on ten or fifteen years later to a time when online research had become quite the norm with more and more records available to be searched. I feel very fortunate to live in New Zealand and have available to me to research online, completely for free, a vast array of our country’s newspapers at ‘Papers Past’. Almost all of the early history from the time of first European settlement in New Zealand is able to be browsed or searched through. And it is within these fantastic newspaper archives that over the past few years I have been able to piece together more and more of Bridget’s story. And what a story it is !!!

It turns out that Bridget WALLIS (nee BROSNAN), my great great grandmother, lead quite an eventful life. But if I started writing here about all the times I have found her mentioned in the newspapers this story would be over 20,000 words long and you would still be here reading in three or four hours time. So for now I will give just a very brief overview of what I have found, and over the next year or so I will gradually tell more and more of Bridget’s story on this blog.

Fortunately newspapers from 100 years ago recorded so much more detail than is currently allowed to be put in print, often using descriptive words that they would never get away with now days. And it is from within these articles and descriptions that a clearer picture of Bridget’s life can be built up. 

The very first time that I find Bridget appearing in a newspaper is in April 1885, six months after the birth of her son William. It is a report of a Supreme Court hearing where Bridget is complaining under the ‘Destitute Persons Act 1877’ that “William Stewart, draper, Riverton, whom she alleged to be the father, had refused to provide for the support of her child”. 

'Fair enough Bridget, fair call', I found myself thinking but what I found next changed my attitude completely. 

From the Southland Times, 30 June 1885

Bridget must have found herself in quite a dilemma to have even contemplated leaving her son behind and fleeing 100 miles away. Why she did it we will never know. And what became of her after her return to Riverton and then her reappearance in court for this misdemeanour I have as yet been unable to find out. 

Bridget's first son,
William Stewart BROSNAN

The next mention I find of Bridget she is living with the Chinese gold-miners at Welshman’s Gully near Waikaia in Northern Southland. During this time she gave birth to another illegitimate baby, this time a daughter named Flora who sadly died at seven months of age. 

While living with the Chinese Bridget is involved in several ‘altercations’ that require court hearings. And the misdemeanours just kept on coming. And so it continued on and on, …… court appearance after court appearance, newspaper article after newspaper article, year after year. It got to the stage that nothing that I found surprised me anymore. 

In August 1890 Bridget married Joseph Thorley WALLIS (who was at least twenty years her senior) and as well as her son William they also raised a family of one daughter and four more sons. Joseph died in 1908 and right up until the time of her own death in 1918 aged 57 years, Bridget continued to be a regular in both the courts and the newspapers.

So my beautiful daughter Bridget, it looks like I should have done quite a bit more research as I perhaps made a rather bad decision when it came to choosing a name to honour you with. Here you are now, a kind, gentle, compassionate, very hard-working young lady, honest as the day is long, currently attending university and studying extremely hard to become the lawyer you always wanted to be. 

And then there is your namesake, a woman we now know so much more about and it turns out that she was perhaps everything that you hopefully WON’T be. She was a loud, strong-willed, at times foul-mouthed woman who spent most of her life pushing the boundaries between right and wrong. Unfortunately she must also have been a bit of a slow learner too as she went on to serve time in prison on at least five separate occasions. Times back then were very tough I know, but I think that’s still no excuse for the life she choose to live. Fortunately, between her and her husband Joseph, they made a good job of raising their children to “do as I say, not as I do”. As far as I am currently aware none of them were ever in any kind of trouble with the law.

Well Bridget, your 3x great grandmother, your namesake, was indeed the “strong woman” I thought she was, just in an entirely different way than I had assumed when I named you after her. But I'm not in any way bothered by the name I gave you as it is now your name and who cares who else has had it in the past. It belongs to you now, it suits you and there is nothing else I would rather you were called. And I know one thing for sure; that you and your namesake are going to lead two very different lives on completely different sides of the law. Perhaps if you’d been around 100 years ago 'old Bridget' could have come to you for a bit of help and guidance. 

Bridget with eldest son William, daughter Mary & three
young sons Ben, Teddy and Joe Jnr.   Possibly taken
around 1899 as youngest son Thorley is not yet born.

_________________________________

What follows here is a just a small selection of actual phrases that have appeared in the newspapers with regard to Bridget and her husband Joseph. At this stage I will elaborate no further on any of these other than to say that none of these incidents (other than the couple marked *) relate to Bridget and Joseph together, they all involve someone else. I will leave you guessing and in suspense until I write again about Bridget and Joseph at a later date.

• ….. using a choice selection of bad language
• ….. pulled her about and slapped her in the face
• ….. threw a whitening pot at her and otherwise assaulted her
• ….. assault and obscene language
• ….. a loose character, Bridget Brosnan, alias Sullivan
• ….. a month in Invercargill Gaol
• ….. using obscene and provoking language
• ….. facing two charges of perjury *
• ….. making a false declaration under the marriage act *
• ….. Mrs Wallis was invariably the aggressor
• ….. alleged attempt at incendiarism and dog poisoning with phosphorus
• ….. destroyed by fire *
• ….. robbery at Riversdale
• ….. caught him by the throat and threw him down
• ….. profanity in a public place
• ….. resisting the police in the execution of their duty
• ….. used bad language and struck the constable with a bottle
• ….. language deployed by the defendant is unfit for publication
• ….. threatened to knock witnesses brains out
• ….. hit him two or three times about the face
• ….. used bad language to her daughter
• ….. said she would smash any policeman who came near her place
• ….. sly grog selling
• ….. sentenced to three months imprisonment in Invercargill
• ….. buried in her back garden
• ….. three months imprisonment in Dunedin Gaol
• ….. keep such premises as a place of resort for the consumption of intoxicating liquor
• ….. fined £20 and costs 7s
• ….. three months imprisonment at Dunedin Gaol
• ….. did permit her house to be used as a place of resort for consumption of liquor
• ….. sentenced to three months imprisonment

_________________________________

Bridget WALLIS & her six children, taken not long after the death of her husband Joseph in 1908.
Standing: William, Mary and Joseph              Sitting: Ben, Thorley and Teddy

Happy 100th birthday Grandad

Today, the 24th of November 2014, marks what would have been the 100th birthday of my maternal grandfather, John Francis (Jack) EGAN.

Jack was born at Otautau in Western Southland, the eldest child of Hanora (nee COSGRIFF) and James EGAN, farmers from nearby Wrey’s Bush. He had two younger sisters, Molly and Kathleen, and a younger brother James. Jack’s mother died when he was only four years old and his childhood after that was quite unsettled, being brought up by his elderly grandmother and his father. After his mother’s death his younger siblings were taken away to be raised by others so Jack very rarely saw them. 

St Kevin's College Dux 1933

After his grandmother's death in 1926, and with his father becoming blind after a failed operation, at the age of 12 Jack was sent away to boarding school at St Kevin’s College in Oamaru. Here he excelled academically and also on the sporting field, showing talent in many different sports including cricket, rugby, tennis, athletics and shooting. He became Dux of the college in 1933.

While a pupil at St Kevin’s College he captained the 1st XV rugby team and also the 1st XI cricket team. He eventually went on to play provincial rugby at fullback for both Southland and then Otago, captaining the Otago rugby team during the late 1930’s. He captained the South Island Varsity rugby team, then the NZ Varsity team, as well as captaining the Otago cricket team.

Otago rugby captain 1937

Jack attended Otago University and then Teachers Training College. After an initial teaching post to the Hawkes Bay he returned south and spent the rest of his life either teaching or as headmaster in primary schools throughout Otago and Southland, including at Nightcaps, Kaiwera, Wendon, Hokonui, Balclutha and Mataura. 

Jack married in December 1944 to Mary Dorothy (Doris) SCHULTZ. They had a very happy marriage and went on to have a family of four children; Maureen, Dorothy, Paul and Brian.

Lieut. J.F.EGAN
NZ Army 1939 - 1945

Jack came from a long line of hard-working Irish immigrant families and he had a very strong work ethic, a trait which he tried to pass on to both his children and his pupils. He enjoyed giving back to the communities in which he lived and often organised the production of stage shows and musicals, coached sports teams, served on numerous committees and even spent some time as an elected member of the Mataura Borough Council.

My grandfather John Francis (Jack) Egan died on the 20th of October 1977, while still serving as the headmaster of the Mataura Primary School. He was aged only 63 years old. I was only six years old at the time and have only a few vivid memories of him. But from what I can remember of him as both my grandfather and also as the headmaster of the school I attended, he was a kind man who was firm but fair. Right throughout his career as a teacher, and then later as a headmaster, he very quickly gained the admiration and respect of his fellow teachers, his pupils and the whole community. 

Doris & Jack EGAN, about 1975

I would love to have had my grandfather in my life for a longer period of time as I was growing up. From what I have been told he had a great knowledge of our family history that unfortunately was never written down to be passed on. I think that him and I would have gotten on so well together and I can even picture in my mind conversations that I would love to have had with him that sadly never got to take place. 

I would love for him to still be around today to see his grandson Brendan (only 2 years old when he died) carving out his own career as a school teacher and now head of Religious Education at the Catholic secondary school that he himself worked so hard to help fundraise to build. Jack had dreams of his own children being able to be educated at St Peter’s College in Gore, but the building work was delayed and it wasn’t opened in time for any of them to attend. But after his death six of his grandchildren, including myself, did get to be educated there, and in more recent times two of his great grandchildren (my own two children) have also attended this great school. 

Brendan and Bridget, Aug 2014.
Wouldn't Jack have been so proud of these two !!!

Besides rugby and his family, two of Jack’s other great loves in life were drama and debating. I would love for him to have seen my daughter Bridget (his great granddaughter) scoop the senior debating awards at a recent Catholic secondary school debating competition, with his grandson Brendan also as the debating team coach. And at the same event another Egan family member (the great granddaughter of his cousin) won the junior debating awards. I bet Jack would have been just so proud if he had been there.

Another fullback in the family

And I bet he would have loved to have had the chance to stand on the sidelines and watch my son Mark (his great grandson) playing his favourite sport of rugby in the very same fullback position that he once played in, slotting the ball between the uprights from way out wide by the sideline, just as he did all those decades ago.

I believe it is such a shame that younger generations aren't able to get to know and love those from the older generations, since they often have so much in common but never have the chance to actually meet. But that's just the way life works; - people live and then they die but their genes still live on. My kids may not realise it, but I firmly believe that they have a lot of their great grandfather in them and that his legacy lives on through them and all of their cousins.

I know my grandfather Jack will still be keeping an eye on us all from Heaven, and I hope he is proud of how his family has grown and what they have all achieved. He was a hard working man who gave back to the community as much as he could. I believe he has every right to be proud of his family as it was him who instilled in us all the ethic to work hard to achieve well in this life, the willingness to help out and to give back to others, and the desire to do our best at all times. 

Happy 100th birthday Grandad. I think of you often and really wish I could have spent more years with you and had the chance to have known you better !!!

______________________________

( For the full story of the early years of the marriage of Jack’s parents and the subsequent splitting up of the family please follow this link. )

Those we love never truly die ......

Every once in a while the reality of life, ….. and in fact death, causes me to stop in my tracks and reassess my life and my place in this world. This past week has been one of those very reflective weeks.

After years of soul-searching I think I now have a better understanding of how this life works and I realise that God has an individual plan for each of us. We are never privy to this information though, we can only hope that the life he has planned for us is going to be a long and very happy one. 

Last Thursday afternoon my maternal uncle, one of my mothers younger brothers, passed away suddenly after a very short illness. He lived in Australia so I hadn’t seen him for several years. But that doesn’t make it any easier. In fact it probably makes it all the more sad and difficult due to the fact that, even though long periods of time had passed since I last saw him, I now know that this is one more very loved family member that I am never going to get to see again.

It’s made me once again realise that our time on this earth is finite, and we never know when it will be our turn to say goodbye. It has also made me realise that over the space of hundreds and hundreds of years, all of my ancestors I have lovingly searched for and wanted to find out so much about, they too have suffered loss and grief, often in circumstances that we today will never comprehend or fully understand.

It’s made me all the more determined to keep searching and keep recording what I find about my family members who have gone before me. As I’ve previously stated on this blog, I feel it is my purpose on this earth to be the link between the past and the future. So with renewed vigour, and a bit of a heavy heart, I will continue with my mission to document, preserve and share their stories. All of our ancestors and our much loved family members deserve to be remembered, and if they are remembered they will never truly die.

_________________

Paul John EGAN
Feb 1950  -  Oct 2014

My Uncle Paul was a free spirit. He loved life and he lived it his way.

He loved his family and his five sons meant the absolute world to him. 

Rest in peace Uncle Paul.

You are loved by us all and you will never be forgotten.

Sending lots of love and hugs to all your family in Australia.
x x x x x

_________________

"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die"

~  Thomas Campbell  ~

Happy Fathers Day !!!

I am unsure about the rest of the world, but today in New Zealand it is Father's Day, a day we celebrate and remember, and also thank our fathers for all they have done for us. My own father died when I was seven so I have no real recollection of spending a Father's Day with him, but I’m sure he has spent every Father's Day watching down on us from Heaven. Instead, my childhood memories of Father's Day lie solely around my paternal grandfather, Robert ENGLISH. He lived in the house right beside us and was probably the main father figure I had in my life. So my childhood Father's Days always meant a visit next door to see my grandad and my mother always baked him a sultana cake which was one of his absolute favourites.

Today I would like to celebrate and remember all the fathers on every branch of my family tree. Without them our tree would simply stop growing. An extra big thank you must go to all those fathers whose genes make me the person that I am today and whose blood still runs through my veins. These remarkable men; my own father, my two grandfathers and my many great grandfathers further back, have all helped me to become the person that I am and to them I owe a very big thank you. Each and every one of those whose photos appear below makes up a special part of me, and although there is only four of them that I actually ever met, the rest have all had an influence in some way or another in my genetic makeup.

So a very happy Father's Day to those below, and to all of my other great grandfathers further back on my tree. 

But today’s most special happy Father's Day wish must go to the most important father in my life today; - the fantastic father of my children, my husband Ross. For eighteen years now he has always been the kindest, most patient and loving father to our children. Thank you Ross for giving me two absolutely beautiful children and thank you for being the best husband and father that anyone could ever wish for. You are one in a million and Bridget, Mark and I love you so much   :-)

Reflections: ..... and a conversation with my Dad

Last week on the television I saw a list of 'new' words that have been officially recognised as being able to be used in the game of Scrabble. The words are all part of our modern language, many of them are used frequently by my teenage children, and they really got me thinking. The thing that struck me the most is just how much our language has changed in the last twenty years, or even in the last five years.

My own dad (Ron ENGLISH) died in 1978 when I was seven years old. He was only 36 and although it doesn't seem that long ago, the world we live in now is just so far removed from that in which he lived. I miss having my dad in my life, and I especially miss the fact that his beautiful grandchildren never had the chance to get to know him and love him.

My father Ron ENGLISH
(1941 - 1978)

But I often wonder; - if Dad was to walk through my door today, would he even have the slightest clue what my children were talking about? Or would the modern lingo be like a foreign language to him.

So just for a bit of fun I have decided to draw up my own small list of modern phrases and words that have slowly crept into our lives. We think nothing of them now, but what on earth would Dad have thought.

Where else could I start but with the latest trend, the 'selfie'. In 1978 there were no 'selfies'. Nor was there any 'texting', 'skyping' or 'tweeting'.  There was no 'going online', there were no 'downloads' or 'uploads', and 'the web', well that was where the spiders in the garden shed lived.

In 1978 you watched the tele, not 'podcasts', 'MySky', 'freeview', 'YouTube', 'dvds' or 'blu-ray'. There were no 'flatscreens' or 'HD', and if you were lucky you had not just one channel, but two. You listened to an LP, the wireless or the radio, as a 'cd', a 'playlist', an 'iPod' or 'iHeart radio' were not yet part of our world.

Dad played rugby, golf and tennis, whereas nowadays kids play 'X-box', 'Playstation' or 'Wii'. Back in Dad's day you swallowed your 'tablet', not played a game on it, and 'the cloud' was the fluffy thing that floated in the sky. Things weren't 'munted', they were broken, and if you wanted to know something you went to the library to look up the Encyclopaedia Britannica, not pull out your 'smartphone' to 'google' it.

In 1978 you couldn't be 'tagged', 'blocked', 'liked' or 'unfriended', and if you were 'followed' a call to the police may have been necessary. A 'Big Mac' was a large truck, an 'apple' was for eating,  and to be 'photo-bombed' sounds a very dangerous thing indeed. If someone said 'sweet' they were usually offering you a lollie and if the words 'sup', 'skuxx' or 'broski' came from your mouth it would have got you many odd looks indeed.

'Snail mail' existed but Dad wouldn't have known it as such, and an 'internet cafe', 'e-mail' and an 'attachment' were years away yet. 'Generation Y' was yet to be born and an 'anti-virus' was prescribed by your GP and picked up from your chemist. When you went to visit a friend the first thing you often asked was "do you want to go outside to play", certainly not "what's your Wi-Fi password".

In 1978 there was no 'speed-dating', 'rogernomics', 'glamping', 'me-time', 'hoodies', 'Angry Birds', 'Twitter' or 'zumba'. No 'cyber-space', 'couch-potatoes', 'fat-pants', 'puffa-jackets', 'Super 15' or 'flash-mobs'. No 'Big Wednesday', 'gigabytes', 'TradeMe', 'pixels', 'ringtones', 'widgets', 'hash-tags' or 'Facebook'.

The modern world is moving so fast that at times even I feel a bit left behind by it all. Technology is old and out-dated almost as soon as it is released, and it seems that only the young can keep up with it all. 2014 is indeed a very different world from that of 1978 when my father lasted breathed on this earth. I know Dad would have loved to have still been here with us but the modern world just wasn't where he was destined to be.

So back to my first question, ..... if Dad was to walk through my door today, would he even have the slightest clue what my children were talking about? Probably not, but I would sit him down for a nice long chat, fill him in with all that he's missed and help him to catch up.